Cuz I Can

It's my blog and I will cry if I want to.

Okay, I don't feel like cryin', but I do feel like posting as many pictures of David Beckham as I can. You don't mind, do you? You may have heard that David injured his knee Sunday night and is expected to be "out" for 6 weeks. GET WELL BECKS!


Everyone has seen the Geico Cavemen and their commercials, right? Pretty funny stuff, I think. WELL, the Cavemen may have their own sitcom next fall. The pilot for the show, aptly titled, "Cavemen," is in the works.


No matter how bad your life may seem at times, watch "Wife Swap" Monday evenings on ABC. I promise, you will feel MUCH better! If you haven't seen the show, two semi-dysfunctional families "swap" moms, usually the polar opposite of themselves, while making a feeble attempt at learning something from the other family. I have watched the show for a couple of seasons now and I have noticed a decline in the families selected to participate. The "moms" even swear at the children in the other family now and they beat each other up at the end. It's great entertainment and TOTALLY makes you feel better about your own life!

On Saturday, we featured another excerpt from "OfficeSpeak," one of "Kev's" favorite books. Today we would like to share a few samples from Marie Rudisill's, "Ask The Fruitcake Lady," (Everything You Would Already Know If You Had Any Sense) which we think is slap-your-knee hysterical...

Q. When I try to wake my son up for school, he pretends he is wounded and can't move. What do I do?

A. Oh God. That is a problem. You've got to take measures there and show him what it might be like to really get wounded. I'd just jerk his covers off and say, "Get the hell out of bed, and I mean now." Just scream and cuss at him. In utter anger he'll get out of the bed. He'll sit down at the breakfast table and sulk. But you don't give a damn about whether he eats his cereal or not. Then when the school bus comes, you start yelling till he gets his ass up out of the chair and onto the bus. School's important. Breakfast isn't.

Q. I came across my boss's online resume and noticed he told a few big whoppers about his history. Should I rat him out to his boss or just blackmail him?

A. Neither. What business is it of yours? I mean, you're a bastard for even thinking about that. It won't get you ahead. It will get you in the behind, a good kick in the behind, eventually. The truth always comes out, you know, and yours might actually be worse than his. This is an ugly thing you are proposing.

and...

Q. I'm a vegan, because I can't stand the thought of killing things. I keep getting invited to dinner parties where they serve pork chops ("Kev" HATES pork chops too...). What can I do?

A. Call ahead to tell them you're a weirdo. I mean, you've got a problem.

Finally, everyone knows "Kev" saw Pink in concert last week and he is STILL talking about it. Here is the last song we will feature from Pink's latest CD, "I'm Not Dead," called CUZ I CAN.

We hope you have a GREAT Tuesday!