Nasty Naughty Boy

It's TUESDAY! We can't think of a "creative" or "catchy" greeting to lure you in, but we're sure glad you're here!

As reported previously, Justin Timberlake and Pink will perform here in Atlanta at Philips Arena on February 27th (TODAY) and "Kev" MAY attend the show... If he does, you know he will be back on Wednesday to brag, we mean, "report," about it...


Our sources (and when we say "sources," we mean Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, Nancy Grace, and most importantly, my assistant, Marcia, who spends the majority of her day surfing the Internet) tell us that the paternity suit over Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn, may be resolved shortly... Howard K. Stern has unofficially revealed that he is not the baby's father and that he too believes the father is Larry Birkhead (who I think is SUPER CUTE, by the way). Howard is asking to remain the executor of Anna's estate. Official tests will still be required to prove paternity. We will of course keep you bitches (again, term of endearment) posted!

I know Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole's daughter, Dannielynn, because I asked a psychic this very question over the weekend and he told me so. Funny story... I was out with the local gays, you know, the usual cast of characters, "FUN Jimmy," his not-so-fun BF, etc., etc., patronizing a fine establishment last Friday night. A man came over and said, "You're going to go on a date with me." (He actually said, "You're going to go home with me," but I was trying to tone it down as not to offend our diverse readership here...) Anyway, I asked why he believed this (because, believe me, that wasn't going to happen). He told me he had just had his "cards" read by the psychic that was on hand (all fine establishments have a psychic on hand, n'est pas?) and that the psychic told him so. I told him, politely, that "Kev" wasn't the kind of gay that went home with men from a bar, despite what the psychic said (yes, "FUN Jimmy" thought that was in fact funny, "called me out" in front of the man and said he thought the reading was "dead on"). I diffused the situation, i.e., sent the unwanted man away. Ten minutes later, a second man (less attractive than the first) came over and told me that he too was going to be going on a date with me (yes, he also really said that I would be "going home with him," but, again, thought I would tone it down a bit). I said, "Let me guess - because the "psychic" told you so?" He replied "Uh huh." I apologized on behalf of the psychic, told him to request his money back and then went over to chat with Sylvia Browne myself. He thought it was hysterical (he told me so). I asked him what Dionne Warwick or Shirley MacLaine would think of his antics. He offered to "read my cards" as a peace offering. I told him I did have one burning question... WHO IS DANNIELYN'S DADDY? He told me it was Larry's and I said, "Thanks! I trust you IMPLICITLY!" Hence, we can report this information with confidence. CONGRATS LARRY!

CNN is reporting that a girl can stack and unstack 12 cups in 5.3 seconds. WOW - what a complete waste of 5.3 seconds. Anyway, "WAY TO GO LITTLE GIRL" (whoever you are).

Finally, we mentioned previously that we will be eliciting the help of a mysterious "musical muse," someone who is more astute when it comes to alternative music than any of the staff here.

Today's offering is superb. Real "baby makin' music," if you know what I mean. So grab your special someone (even if it's your cat), turn the lights down low, turn your speakers way up high and enjoy "Nasty Naughty Boy" from Christina Aguilera's, "Back to Basics."



Here are the lyrics so you can sing along...

Come here big boy
Ahh, mmmhmm, yeah

You've been a bad bad boy
I'm gonna take my time, so enjoy
There's no need to feel no shame
Relax and sip upon my champagne
'Cause I wanna give you a little taste
Of the sugar below my waist, you nasty boy

I'll give you some oh-la-la
Voulez vous coucher avec moi?
I got you breaking into a sweat
Got you hot, bothered, and wet
You nasty boy

Nasty naughty boy

Oh baby for all it's worth
I swear I'll be the first to blow your mind
Now if you're ready, come and get me
I'll give you that hot, sweet, sexy loving (loving)

Hush now, don't say a word
I'm gonna give you what you deserve
Now you better give me a little taste
Put your icing on my cake
You nasty boy

Oh no, oh there I go again
I need a spanking, 'cause I've been bad
So let my body do the talkin'
I'll slip you that hot, sweet, sexy loving

Ohh ha!
Come on daddy!
Ohh ohh, ohh ohh oh yeah
Oh yeaah oh, come on, sugar

I got you breaking into a sweat
Got you hot, bothered, and wet
You nasty boy

Nasty naughty boy
Naughty boy

Oh baby for all it's worth
I swear I'll be the first to blow your mind
Now that you're ready, give it to me
Just give me that hot, sweet, sexy loving

Now give me a little spanking
Ohh, ohh, is that all you've got?
Come on now, don't play with me

Oh give me that hot, sweet, nasty
Boy don't you make me wait
Now you better give me a little taste
Put your icing on my cake
You nasty boy

Mmmm

"Kev" will be back on Wednesday. We will be paying tribute to someone "Kev" cherishes deeply (no, not Leonardo DiCaprio, although we think he is "swell").

Have a GREAT Tuesday everyone!