Saturday, January 10, 2015
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Nick Of Time
Welcome, BITCHES! THIS is "our" 675th post!
C'mon in out of the cold (wipe your boots first).
You are here on a good night! I couldn't WAIT to get back to "The Corner" to share my evening with you (whomever you are).
However, before "we" launch into that, "we" must pay respects to Elizabeth Edwards who passed away this morning. Elizabeth was 61-years-old.
"Kev" (that's me) hasn't been too happy lately. It's true... I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you (because, really, I don't know you). No worries though, I'm resilient - I bounce back (and sometimes you just have to laugh when you just want to cry, right?). You guessed it - man trouble. The trouble is, I don't have one. Hard to believe, right?! (And I lost all that weight!)
Anyhoo, if you've read the blog in the past, you might know that Halloween is a magical holiday for me. I love it. I always seem to date someone I meet on Halloween. Remember the "Last EVER Friday HOT Guy?" He was "Hot Cop" - Halloween 2008. (I was a sailor.) He was cute as a button. We are still friends today. Last year I dated a guy in a dress (I was a cowboy), with a girl's name, "Dana," whom I also met on Halloween. This year, Halloween 2010... My costume - NASA Astronaut. It was winning. When I say "winning," I of course mean form fitting and revealing, functional for "trick or treating" and easy to get off when the party is over and you've had too many spirits to navigate things like buttons. ("Kudos" to the NASA space program for their design - it's "kicky." I plan to wear this as often as I can.) As the night waned on, I enjoyed the festivities (private party followed by debauchery at "Blake's") with friends and neighbors. I thought the night would end without meeting anyone "new." Then I saw "Jack" (that's really his name so I probably didn't need to put it in quotes, right?). "Jack" wasn't in costume (he just looked like a straight guy/dad from Alpharetta, out with some gal pals). My first words to him (this is good, so write this down) were "Hey, you straight?!" (I learned that it's just good manners to ask when in doubt.. I didn't know the guy I was groping at the "Scissor Sisters" concert last month was with his girlfriend... Woopsie.) I am always more attracted to straight guys anyway. "Jack" smiled, said "no" (and then proved it). Did I mention that "Jack" is H-O-T, hot? Don't get too excited. This doesn't end well. Fast forward one month and 7 dates, "Jack" exited stage left. Never to be heard from again. Sad? For sure! No explanation. "Kev" (I keep forgetting to write in third person) didn't understand? He ("Kev" that is) was on his BEST behavior. (And after 7 dates, that was difficult to maintain. Polite. Check! Thoughtful. Check! Good listener. Check!)
Where is this going, you may be wondering? (I know, you probably can't wait to read someone elses blog or get back on Facebook.) Here's the crux of the story - "Kev" joined Match.com on Saturday. He's willing to try anything, including Match.com. (Times ticking, that Bonnie Raitt song, "Nick of Time" is my new anthem.) Let me just say, Match.com has managed to collect the largest amount of garden variety weirdos on the internet. Although you complete a survey about your "Mr. Right," Match.com suggests people that clearly don't fall within your scope of interest. Match.com thinks you'd "click" if you both breathe or walk upright. No lie. For example, "Kev" will not date a smoker. I clearly responded "NO WAY" when asked this. Match.com has suggested 3. "Kev" is looking for someone in his age range. (We know what happened with "Hot Cop"/"Last EVER Friday HOT Guy"... "Kev" cried, a LOT, and "Hot Cop" is now living with his 23-year-old (albeit, age appropriate) boyfriend in D.C.. CONGRATS, by the way, HOT Cop, you deserve the best!) Match.com keeps sending me 25 year olds! Tonight they thought I might like a cross dressing transgender guy/gal, Ms./Mr., he/she... I don't understand. Facebook employs intuitive algorithms that locate your crush from second grade. Why can't Match.com utilize the information you give them? I digress...
Tonight "Kev" went on his first Match.com coffee date. (This is why I couldn't WAIT to come home - I had to share this with YOU, because I know YOU care.) (In the future, I will bring my new Netbook so I can write WHILST on the date. I was taking mental notes...) "Clint" (okay, that was really his name) was a very nice/polite, argyle sweater vest wearing "ginger" (whom I think had a thyroid condition, which would explain the Barbara Bush eyes) who plays piano and sings in the choir at the Presbyterian Church. I am not sure how he got through?! I marked "atheist" when asked about religion. Guys in choirs are immediately disqualified. Bleck. I also stated that I hate cats. They scratch you, give you dirty looks and stink up your house. Who sits on "Clint's" piano as he plays (and belts out) "What A Friend We Have In Jesus?" Simon. Simon, the Siamese cat. My mind wandered as he talked about how Atlanta guys are "so plastic." He asked my favorite foods and favorite travel destinations while I day dreamed about "Hot Cop" (Halloween 2008), and wondered why "Jack" left me...
I think we are going to have some fun over the next few weeks, so I hope you will stop in and join me on this quest for love. Christmas is coming and I want a present! Next up, Jason!
I hope YOU (and YOU) have a GR-EAT Wednesday.
(Footnote... "Kev" does not discriminate against those who believe in God (or cats), gingers, or anyone with a thyroid condition. Many of my closest and dearest friends are those who are God-fearing cat owners. Gingers drive me wild. I LOVE Prince Harry! "Kev" does, however, draw the line with guys in choirs. It's a deal breaker, as is Barbara Bush.)
Now please enjoy this video...
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Get The Party Started
What up, bitches?! It's ME! It's YOU! It's US!
Welcome BACK (to my online diary). I am EXCITED tonight because I am writing to you from my new HANNSPREE Netbook! I admit, this keyboard is very, very tiny and my fingers are working hard to navigate quickly. Let's see how I do...
Is everyone getting ready for the holiday(s), i.e., Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, etc., etc., etc.? You might remember from years past that I really don't care for Christmas (which is what my people celebrate). A lot of hype for little reward I think. I suppose if you have kids, it's "fun" (but I doubt it). The inane music gets on my nerves, especially that rum pum pum pum bullshit. You know what I am talking about. Anyhoo, I hope YOU are enjoying the season (and the music) so far this year. We will check back and see how you are doing.
Anyone travel over Thanksgiving? "Kev" did and didn't even get that TSA pat down promised by the F.A.A.. Nuts! I was looking forward to it. I wore boxers. (Just keepin' it real...)
What else, what else? OH, P!nk's "Greatest Hit's So Far" was released on November 22nd. I hope you all purchased/downloaded a copy.
Alright, I am not going to sugar coat this - I am t-i-r-e-d, tired tonight (setting up this new Netbook) so I am going to say BON SOIR (bitches) for now.
"We" hope to be back on a regular basis! THANKS for stoppin' in. (We know you have other blogs to read!)
Please enjoy this video...
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Hey Bitches! It's YOU, it's ME!
It's Tuesday! It's Election Day! It's Ricky Martin on Oprah Day!
Ricky's memoir, "ME," hit bookstores TODAY and YES I ran out and got my copy. So tonight I really am going to bed with Ricky ('s book).
Alright, that's all I have today. I hope YOU have a GR-EAT Wednesday.
Hugs & Ricky Martin Kisses,
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Raise Your Glass
Like a bad penny... "We" are BACK!
What is UP, bitches?! It has been a long time, hasn't it?! "We've" missed YOU (and YOU) and even YOU!
When "we" received the picture above, "we" had to immortalize it here at "The Corner." David Beckham in a Stevie Nicks tee-shirt... It doesn't get much better than that now does it? Enough to bring "us" BACK from an almost 11 month hiatus! (Did I mention that "we've" missed you? I did? Okay.)
So how have YOU been? What have YOU been up to? Where do we even begin?
I am so glad those Chilean miners are out of that well, right? (Were they in a well like that little girl or a mine shaft? I don't know...) Speaking of Chilean miners, since we were last together, "Kev" visited the beautiful city of Buenos Aires... What does that have to do with Chilean miners? Nothing, but did you know that there is a cologne named after me, heavily marketed in Buenos Aires (which is in Argentina and Argentina borders Chile, where those poor miners were trapped in either a well or a mine shaft)? It's true. I wouldn't lie to you...
For $14 Argentine pesos (which is, well, not much), you can own a bottle. I love the tag line, "Just A Touch," (it's true, I smelled it) but mostly because that's what people say about me. They could have found a better model I think but I am just happy my name is on a bottle, plastered on billboards throughout the beautiful city of Buenos Aires in the beautiful country of Argentina, which borders those beautiful Chilean miners. Anyway, I am a bit of a narcissist like Paris, Britney and Fergie (her "Outspoken" smells nice). With Christmas right around "The Corner" (that's a double entendre I haven't used before!), it's a win-win.
Moving on... P!nk's new single "Raise Your Glass," from her upcoming "Greatest Hits -So Far" CD (released November 6) is HOT HOT HOT so "we" had to post it here! "What part of party don't you understand?"
Alright, THANKS for stoppin' in (whoever and wherever you are). We will get this party started again/"we" are back because, hey, it's f-u-n, fun!
Until next time... Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my under dogs, we will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty gritty dirty little freaks!
Just A Touch,
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
THANKS For Stoppin' In!
Hey EVERYONE! How are YOU?!;
Oh we have neglected YOU for a long, long time and for that, "we" (still referring to the fictitious staff here) are sorry...
It has become apparent that "we" have lost steam for "The Corner." Daily posts have become a thing of the past.
"We" started the blog in July of 2006, and frankly, "we" are surprised it has lasted THIS long. It has been fun, hasn't it? Today marks our 670th post. In our journey together (that's me and you), we have covered a lot of ground, haven't we? We've met a few celebrities, been to a lot of concerts, celebrated holidays, birthdays and have enjoyed our share of "HOT guys."
"We" (yes, silly, still just me) aren't closing up "The Corner" just yet, in hopes that "we" will feel motivated again in the future BUT "we" wanted to say thanks to those of you who have "stopped in" and let you know that we have really appreciated it.
Until "we" return on a more regular basis... Stay well, be happy, be kind to one another and "we" (you know the drill) will be back in the future.
Love & Hugs -
Friday, December 04, 2009
P!nk in London!
BITCHES! Welcome! C'mon in! "We" have been away far too long and we are certainly sorry 'bout that!
What's up? What's going on? What d'ya know?
Thanksgiving has passed and Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa (whatever we all celebrate) are right around the corner and "we" can't believe that 2009 is coming to a close.
Some of you celebrated birthdays that "we" missed (woops). Others of you left to travel to parts of the world "we've" never heard of and frankly don't care about (BON VOYAGE, you know who you are), some of you fell down and hurt yourselves (to you we say, "get well soon, clumsy!"), a couple of you got pregnant (seriously, what were you thinking, but congrats!) and finally, "we" have missed a lot of world news and events such as Tiger Woods' infidelities. For all of this, "we" are sorry. Really.
For "Kev" (still me), this year has been marked by the unprecedented number of concerts attended. At least 17 that come to mind... A lot even by my standards! Among them were Fleetwood Mac (who could forget my favorite, Stevie Nicks, and the "Unleashed" tour including meeting Mick Fleetwood for the 5th time), Paul McCartney (VIP seats, bitches), U2, Britney Spears (again, VIP seats, bitches), Rob Thomas (touched his shoe from my place in the front row, bitches), Heart, Olivia Newton-John (no judging - she's sweet), Lily Allen, Peaches, Joan Jett, One Republic, The Pussycat Dolls (shook hands with one of them - the pretty one, I think), and of course... P!nk (who was great in Chicago and Boston). AND... the year isn't over yet... P!nk's "Funhouse" tour is now in Europe and "Kev" and our "Last EVER Friday HOT Guy" (everyone remember him...) will be in attendance at London's O2 Arena next week! YAY! I will never, ever be able to retire (these shows don't come cheap). Send money. Please.
Enough of me. Your turn. Tell us about YOU. First, who ARE you? (I don't know who reads this anymore.) While you ponder your reply, is anyone excited about the new season of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians?" Are they a bunch of ra-tards, or what?
Okay bitches, "we" gotta go for now. "We" are going to work very hard to not leave YOU so long in a lurch.
This used to be a Funhouse (P!nk) and "we'll" make it a "funhouse" again!
Monday, November 23, 2009
It's Like Bombay Sapphires
"We" hope YOU are well! It is almost Thanksgiving here at "The Corner" ("we" celebrate two days BEFORE the rest of the country because "we" don't like crowds or convention).
Okay, "we" have nothing to write tonight (because "we" are watching "Intervention") but want to say, HAVE A GOOD WEEK!
Here is one of my favorite Stevie Nicks songs, "Bombay Sapphires," from "Trouble In Shangri-La," one of my favorite CD's of all time!