Andy Roddick

Hey you! Yes, you! Thanks for stopping in at "Kev's Corner." We're glad you're here...

We (I mean "I") thought we (I mean "I") would chat about some recent stories that have made the headlines over the past few days...They are all, oddly enough, "dick" related (sorry to offend).

First(ly), have you heard about the judge from Bristow, OK, who was sentenced on Friday for four counts of indecent exposure in his court room? Judge Donald Thompson was given a "penis pump" as a gift and apparently liked it - a LOT. He used it daily while presiding over his cases. (I can tell you, I was a college intern at the local state's attorney's office and those trials do get B-O-R-I-N-G.) According to the AP, his former court reporter, Lisa Foster, testified at his trial that she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times between 2001 and 2003. Foster told authorities that she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during the August 2003 murder trial of a man accused of shaking a toddler to death. (Here's my favorite part of the story...) A "whooshing" sound could be heard on Foster's audiotape of the trial. Police built a case against the judge after a police office testifying in a 2003 murder trial saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe. During a lunch break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk. Investigators later checked the carpet, Thompson's robes and the chair behind the bench and found semen, according to court records.

Second(ly), have you heard about the 24-year-old man in New Delhi who is undergoing surgery to correct hi "diphallus?" Diphallus is developmental anomaly resulting in the duplication of the penis. In short, the guy has not one, but TWO penises (that both work)! Most guys "Kev" knows can't muster up one working penis (sorry guys). This is one lucky bastard. I can honestly say, if I had an extra penis, I would keep it.

Third(ly), did you watch the "Teen Choice Awards" on Fox last night? Can I just say, "train wreck." Britney couldn't have been more "country" in her short, low-cut dress, trademark gum, and Elvira-like hair. If I could have reached through the television set, I would have shook her. Gently, of course, the bitch IS pregnant after all. I used to love her music and still exercise, OK, drink to it. K-Fed came on and rapped something so inappropriate that every third word was "bleeped," again, this was the "Teen Choice Awards." Nice going asshole.

Last(ly), did you hear that Andy Roddick won some real important tennis match yesterday (had something to do with the upcoming U.S. Open in Flushing, NY). "Kev" isn't a sports gay, so I can't elaborate, however, I LOVE Andy Roddick. Andy will be 25 next week, during the U.S. Open, as well. To Andy, CONGRATS on your victory (whatever it was). (GO ANDY!)

To learn all about Andy, visit his official website at www.andyroddick.com.

"Kev's" Post Script:
If you visit Andy's site, you will see that his biggest "pet peeve" is when he is trying to get off an elevator whilst others are getting on, disobeying the unwritten elevator law. Andy quips, "where were these people born, in a barn?" I guess he thinks Jesus would do this too. Oddly enough, "Kev" had an elevator incident today...The elevator door opened (the one I needed to board) so I politely yielded while waiting for two bozos inside to exit. Each would say to the other, "After you," "No, after you," "After you," "No, after you..." This went on until the door closed again, without "Kev" inside. When the door reopened, "Kev" held back from yanking the closest bozo out, thus ending the "after you" debate. This is "Kev's" biggest "pet-peeve." That, and the fact that Andy does not return my calls...