My Friend Terry

Happy Wednesday from all of us here at "Kev's Corner!"

The last few posts have been a little "emotional" for "Kev"...My Grandfather who is no longer with us, the possibility of being ousted from my uber cool apartment and talk of devastating hurricanes (OK, that wasn't too emotional for me... While I am very sorry for the people impacted, I have always found natural disasters FASCINATING, although an unfortunate part of life on our planet).

Today I would like to pay tribute to my friend, Terry, who passed away one year ago this month. While I could write about how sad I was when Terry died, Terry would be the first to prefer to be remembered for the kind, fun-loving guy he was.

I was introduced to Terry by my BFF (best friends forever), June, (whom you will be learning about in a future post - she's a lamb, or as I call her, "Kitten," not to be confused with the "original" "Kitten" in Phoenix, who is also a BFF. Actually, the "Kittens" are not really my BFF's - they are more like family, like JoAnn, whom I call "Princess." Are you confused yet?) Anyway, June is BFF (but really like family) with Renee who was BFF with Terry. I know, it gets complicated with so many BFF's, "Kittens" and "Princesses" (that are all like family)...

Terry, at least outwardly, was the OPPOSITE of "Kev"... Very outgoing and engaging. June and I would say that Terry would "hold court" meaning he usually had the attention on an entire room while entertaining them with his musings. Everybody was drawn to him, including "Kev." The very first night I met Terry, he disclosed that he was HIV-positive. I replied by telling him, "I wear a toupee," (which I have since ditched) because I felt I needed to disclose something as equally personal. (We laughed about that later...) Terry was not ashamed of who he was and I really respected that about him. His neighbors all knew, "When Whitney's rockin', don't come knockin'" (an actual quote from Terry).

Terry often called me (and others) "sweetie" and I would get VERY embarrassed. Terry called one night and asked if I wanted to spend a day at the spa. I said "sure" so Terry promptly arranged a three-way call with Spa Sydell (a sort of upscale place here in Atlanta). Terry informed the person on the phone that we wanted the "works" i.e., facials, manicures, massages and anything else on the menu. When the reservationist asked if we preferred male or female therapists, Terry quickly replied, "Male, of course!" When the reservationist relayed who was available, Terry asked for their descriptions. The person on the phone said, "Sir, we are NOT that kind of place." (I was DYING...It was VERY funny.) When Terry was told he would be with "Sandy" he got a little upset and said, "Sandy doesn't sound like a male to me." The guy on the phone assured Terry that "Sandy" was in fact a male. I jumped in and said I would take "Sandy" and didn't care if "Sandy" was male or female. The guy then asked if we wanted a "couples" massage and Terry quickly replied "YES, we want the couples massage!" (although we weren't a "couple"). Anyway, we arrived the next day and waited in anticipation to see who our "therapists" were. "Sandy" came out first and was a HOT, 6'2", blond, blue eyed guy from Sweden (accent to boot) and then Terry's "therapist" came out who I think was named, "Raul." I reminded Terry that he did not want "Sandy" and told him "no trades."

Terry, like "Kev," was also a LeAnn Rimes fan. A group of friends, including "Kitten" and Terry saw LeAnn at Chastain Park, a really "neat" music venue where people bring wine and cheese, candles, etc., as they enjoy music under the stars. Terry was in usual rare form, the center of attention. A man behind us asked if we had a light and Terry replied, "Honey, we are all FLAMES at this table." (I almost DIED but that's one reason I adored Terry so much.) When LeAnn performed, "Can't Fight The Moonlight," Terry removed his shirt, swung it around his head and danced in the rain. (I heard this song the VERY night Terry died and took this as a "sign" from above.) The photo above was taken at the LeAnn Rimes concert, in the rain.

I was fortunate to do many things with Terry in the last couple months of his life, which I, oddly enough, didn't even expect was coming. We knew Terry had cancer and the chemo he received "ravaged" his body.

I was lucky enough to see Terry almost the ENTIRE weekend before he died. We rented the last season of "Queer As Folk" and watched back to back episodes Friday and Saturday night. I never once asked him how he was feeling and we never talked about his HIV (I really don't know why). Like always, Terry walked me to my car, hugged me and said, "Bye Sweetie!" and I never saw him again. Terry died later that week.

Terry's family held a funeral just two days after he died which only certain friends were invited to because they had a difficult time accepting Terry's "lifestyle" ("Kev" was not one of those invited...) At the time, this was upsetting to me because I wanted to say "goodbye" as well. The family emptied the contents of his condo in a nanosecond. I was, however, able to salvage Terry's bathroom soap dispenser from the remains. It was filled with grapefruit scented soap and I keep it as a memento.

About one month after Terry died, his friends arranged a memorial service for him which was held at Terry's club house. It was quite a spectacle - just what Terry would have wanted. The number of people present was a testament to the kind of person and friend Terry was. Terry personally selected the music and those friends he wanted to speak. We shared stories of our times with Terry and released white balloons (and a couple butterflies). On this warm night, we said farewell to our friend.

Without getting even MORE "emotional" (because nobody likes an emotional gay guy), let me just say I believe in cycles. Sunrise and sunset. Beginnings and endings. EVERYTHING for a purpose. With that said, I was back at Chastain Park last night (I even called June from the parking lot who knew the significance), another warm evening where I hadn't been since one year ago, almost to the day, with Terry and friends. It was a great way to bring closure to missing and mourning (although I STILL miss Terry deeply) and to welcome new friendship.

To Renee - Not one visit with Terry went by without mention of you and how much you meant to him. Thank you for sharing your BFF with me. I know you miss him. I can only imagine that he is in "Heaven" entertaining those around him...

Click HERE to watch LeAnn Rimes perform the "slow" version of "Can't Fight The Moonlight" and, in honor of Terry, please feel free to remove your shirt, swing it around your head, and dance, unless you are at the office of course...