What's The Frequency Kenneth?
Happy St. Patrick's Day, bitches!
As you read yesterday, we are experiencing "technical difficulties" here at the "Corner." Basically, every time we utilize the spell check feature, the entire post is deleted. You can imagine the pressure of having to spell each and every word with 100% accuracy. Also, if we use the back key, the entire post is deleted. To this we say, "What's The Frequency Kenneth," which, according to R.E.M., who wrote this catchy diddy, means "What the $#@!." (We don't like to curse, but "$#@!" = "fuck.")
So, knowing that we can't make ANY changes whatsoever, not even one teenie-tiny backstroke, or we have to start all over again, this post will be very short.
On Wednesday, we reported that March 15th was Sylvester Stallone's birthday. We were wrong. It wasn't. It was Sly Stone's birthday. You can see the confusion, right? We have, however, terminated the lazy bastard who did not check his facts before bringing you that piece of information. We have a zero tolerance policy for shoddy reporting. We are, after all, real journalists (we did take an oath).
Sylvester Stallone did make headlines this past week, however. You may have heard that last month, whilst promoting "Rocky 3007" in Australia, Stallone was detained by customs agents who found 40 vials of human growth hormone (which is illegal stuff) in Sly's (again, we mean Stallone's, not Stone's) luggage. If convicted, Stallone could spend up to 5 years in prison. "Adrianne!"
Angelina Jolie brought her new son, "Pax," home from Vietnam. "Pax," in Vietnamese, means one hell-of-a (that's a word, right) lucky kid.
Taylor Hicks (you know, last year's winner of "American Idol") has lost 22 pounds! (I don't know why this is news, but People Magazine is reporting this, so we are passing it along to you. It must be important if "People" is printing this.)
"Kev" is now taking Nature's Made fish oil to promote a healthy heart and nice skin. (We figure if Taylor Hicks losing 22 pounds is "news," than you might want to know about "Kev's" new health regimen.) He also washes his face ("Kev" that is, not Taylor) with Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo. Let us know YOUR health and beauty tips! We'll publish them here.
Dreams unwind and love's a state of mind. Yes, those are some of the lyrics from Stevie Nicks's "Dreams," which reminds me of the "dreams" I had JUST last night. (You see, I only woke up about 10 minutes ago, am not quite awake and am still "processing" this dream.) Do you ever have dreams that you wished you hadn't woken up from? Sometimes I try to go back to sleep just to see how the dream will end. Anyhoo, last night's dream had a star-studded cast. I dreamt that I was BACK at my 20th high school reunion. All of my friends, "Princess," "Sar," "HOT Guy/Secret Crush Mark C." "B-Rad," "Brian E.," etc., etc., were all there EXCEPT so were Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Daniel Craig (you know, the "new" James Bond) as well as Sarah Michelle Gellar and a HOST of others. It was like the Golden Globes or something. They mingled amongst us as if we were old friends. (To the person who called me "star struck," you may be on to something...) Anyway, "Princess" arrived and looked stunning in a Badgley Mischka gown and up-do, bejeweled in diamonds by Neil Lane (which is what she normally wears, so this wasn't a stretch). She had JUST missed seeing Brad Pitt, who hugged me a LOT, if you know what I mean... (Okay, I don't know what I mean.) I told her, "You just missed Brad Pitt and he hugged me a lot, if you know what I mean. Yes, they adopted another baby. A boy. His name is "Pax." It means one hell-of-a lucky kid in Vietnamese!" The neat part about the dream was that I was more excited to see "Princess" than I was any of the "stars" who made an appearance, so maybe I am not as star struck as one might think. (That's nice, right?)
Well kids, the pressure of not being able to change even one word is starting to get to me, so I will say "good day, bitches" for now!
As you read yesterday, we are experiencing "technical difficulties" here at the "Corner." Basically, every time we utilize the spell check feature, the entire post is deleted. You can imagine the pressure of having to spell each and every word with 100% accuracy. Also, if we use the back key, the entire post is deleted. To this we say, "What's The Frequency Kenneth," which, according to R.E.M., who wrote this catchy diddy, means "What the $#@!." (We don't like to curse, but "$#@!" = "fuck.")
So, knowing that we can't make ANY changes whatsoever, not even one teenie-tiny backstroke, or we have to start all over again, this post will be very short.
On Wednesday, we reported that March 15th was Sylvester Stallone's birthday. We were wrong. It wasn't. It was Sly Stone's birthday. You can see the confusion, right? We have, however, terminated the lazy bastard who did not check his facts before bringing you that piece of information. We have a zero tolerance policy for shoddy reporting. We are, after all, real journalists (we did take an oath).
Sylvester Stallone did make headlines this past week, however. You may have heard that last month, whilst promoting "Rocky 3007" in Australia, Stallone was detained by customs agents who found 40 vials of human growth hormone (which is illegal stuff) in Sly's (again, we mean Stallone's, not Stone's) luggage. If convicted, Stallone could spend up to 5 years in prison. "Adrianne!"
Angelina Jolie brought her new son, "Pax," home from Vietnam. "Pax," in Vietnamese, means one hell-of-a (that's a word, right) lucky kid.
Taylor Hicks (you know, last year's winner of "American Idol") has lost 22 pounds! (I don't know why this is news, but People Magazine is reporting this, so we are passing it along to you. It must be important if "People" is printing this.)
"Kev" is now taking Nature's Made fish oil to promote a healthy heart and nice skin. (We figure if Taylor Hicks losing 22 pounds is "news," than you might want to know about "Kev's" new health regimen.) He also washes his face ("Kev" that is, not Taylor) with Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo. Let us know YOUR health and beauty tips! We'll publish them here.
Dreams unwind and love's a state of mind. Yes, those are some of the lyrics from Stevie Nicks's "Dreams," which reminds me of the "dreams" I had JUST last night. (You see, I only woke up about 10 minutes ago, am not quite awake and am still "processing" this dream.) Do you ever have dreams that you wished you hadn't woken up from? Sometimes I try to go back to sleep just to see how the dream will end. Anyhoo, last night's dream had a star-studded cast. I dreamt that I was BACK at my 20th high school reunion. All of my friends, "Princess," "Sar," "HOT Guy/Secret Crush Mark C." "B-Rad," "Brian E.," etc., etc., were all there EXCEPT so were Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Daniel Craig (you know, the "new" James Bond) as well as Sarah Michelle Gellar and a HOST of others. It was like the Golden Globes or something. They mingled amongst us as if we were old friends. (To the person who called me "star struck," you may be on to something...) Anyway, "Princess" arrived and looked stunning in a Badgley Mischka gown and up-do, bejeweled in diamonds by Neil Lane (which is what she normally wears, so this wasn't a stretch). She had JUST missed seeing Brad Pitt, who hugged me a LOT, if you know what I mean... (Okay, I don't know what I mean.) I told her, "You just missed Brad Pitt and he hugged me a lot, if you know what I mean. Yes, they adopted another baby. A boy. His name is "Pax." It means one hell-of-a lucky kid in Vietnamese!" The neat part about the dream was that I was more excited to see "Princess" than I was any of the "stars" who made an appearance, so maybe I am not as star struck as one might think. (That's nice, right?)
Well kids, the pressure of not being able to change even one word is starting to get to me, so I will say "good day, bitches" for now!
If you happen to see the "Rejuvenation - 30th Anniversary Resource Guide 2007," our very own "Princess" has a published quote! Spot on Princess! (It only took me an hour to find!)
However you celebrate tonight, be safe! (Drunk driving kills millions of people and animals every day! True statistic!)
Remember to buy your Ricky Martin concert tickets TODAY!
Much love,
"Kev"
Remember to buy your Ricky Martin concert tickets TODAY!
Much love,
"Kev"
posted by Kev at
8:31 AM
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