A New Day

Hey EVERYONE! Welcome BACK! ("We're" excited, "we're" shouting.)

"Kev" is taking the evening off, but please enjoy this contribution from our friend, who is super cute and fun. (And also new to the "Corner.")

Please put your hands together, stomp your feet, shout "bulyah" and give a warm welcome to, um, "Hadley..."

My review of the Theatrical Broadcast of Celine Dion’s A NEW DAY, the Vegas show of hers that recently closed. I saw it in a Regal Movie Theatre.

I really hadn’t had tons of exposure to Mz. Dion prior to this little FATHOM EVENT (www.fathomevents.com) . Now my opinion is informed after going on a much delayed second date with this guy I met a couple of months ago.

First, I’ll admit she has a phenomenal voice. However, I really DON’T know why she does that covered nasal crap thing that destroys her tone and annunciation in one fell swoop. But it does give the comedians something to imitate. Her show was lush and lavish, with spectacular dancers. They had to be. Face it: No matter how much you worship her, you have to admit that 4 of her songs back to back (not to mention 20) have a soporific effect, unless perhaps you are emotionally unstable and they send you into paroxysms of racking melancholia.

Not that I was anywhere close to falling asleep. The sobbing drunken fan next to me who had seen the show live was busy: a) flinging her coat around every 4 minutes, b) missing the cup holder and ramming her rum-smelling coke bottle into my crotch, c) sobbing and sniffling, and d) recounting everything from her unique perspective of having seen it live, and pointing out to her date exactly where she sat when the camera panned the audience. Oh.. least I forget: e) singing the songs, even the French ones. Tho when she had to get up to pee all the alcohol our of her system, and then almost fell into my date’s lap, causing the little old black lady on the other side of my date to laugh hysterically, … well… it livened the show for some of us.

Otherwise, Celine just did not connect with me. Her movements are stilted, and looked like her blocking was done by a drag queen, however Celine just doesn’t have the same flair. Her scripted heart to heart words with the audience fell flat. And some of the choreography was… was….. ODD… even by Cirque standards. The two clowns, whose roles in such productions are to forge the connection with the audience, had to be employed to pick up the slack in that department, but against the floating lamp posts, zombie dancers and hovering grand pianos, I’m not sure even they succeeded. Mostly the clowns were utilized as just PROPS, standing there, looking on at the aseptic madness that was Celine. We might call her Saline, instead….a ‘sterile solution’.

Tho I’m not a fan of Dolly either, I’d have to say that Mz Parton connected more with her audience, and used 1/100th of the production that Celine needed to be entertaining.

I hope the bitch is going back to Canada.

Or maybe I was negative because by the time we got to the theatre, I had recalled WHY there had not been an earlier second date. Ah well. Gosh the nights are cold.

-B